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Muslims view Marriage
as the foundation of society and family life. In a practical aspect, muslim
marriage is thus structured through legally-enforceable rights
and duties of both bride
and groom
In an atmosphere of love and respect, these rights and duties provide a
framework for the balance of family life and the fulfillment of both partners.
"And among His signs is this, that He created for you mates (zawaj)from
among yourselves, that you may dwell in peace and tranquility with them, and
He has put love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are signs for
those who reflect" (Quran 30:21).
"O Humans revere your Guardian Lord, Who created you from a single person
created of like nature its mate(zawj), and from this scattered (like seeds)
countless men and women. Reverence Allah through Whom you claim your mutual
rights" (Quran 4:1).
The above verses of the Quran lay out the framework as to what are the basis,
the objectives and the goal of Muslim Marriage. In the ultimate Wisdom
of Allah we are first told that both partners man and woman are created from
the same source. That this should be paid attention to as it is one of His signs.
The fact that we come from the same soul signifies our equality as humans, when
the essence of our creation is the same, the argument of who is better or greater
is redundant. To stress on this fact and then to talk about Muslim
Marriage in the same verse is of great significance for those of
us who are in the field of wedding
counseling.
The shift in this attitude of equality of genders as human beings cause a imbalance
in marital relation ship that leads to dysfunctional Muslim
Marriage. When ever one party considers themselves superior or above
the law there is a shift in the balance of power that may lead to misuse or
abuse of power as the less valuable partner is seen as an easy prey. Many marital
difficulties are based on or caused by control and rule stratagem.
By stressing on the equality of all humans men or women and making it the basis
of Niakh,
Allah in His infinite wisdom has laid the ground rules for establishing peace,
as well as the assigning of different roles to husband and wife as functional
strategy rather than a question of competence as humans.
Prophet Mohammad (peace and blessings be upon him) has stated that: "men
and women are twin halves of each other" (Bukhari). This Hadith also brings
home the fact that men and women are created from single source. Furthermore,
by using the analogy of twin half the Prophet has underlined the reciprocal
nature and the interdependent nature of men and women's relationship.
The objective and the goal of Muslim Marriage
according to the above Quranic verse is to enable us to dwell in peace and tranquility.
It is important for us to reflect on these words and their significance in the
Islamic frame of reference.
In order to have peace certain condition must be met. These prerequisites to
peace are
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Justice in muslim marriage
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Fairness in muslim marriage
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Equity in muslim marriage
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Equality in muslim marriage
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fulfillment of mutual rights in muslim marriage
Therefore any injustice whether it is oppression, or persecution, cannot be
tolerated if there is to be peace in Muslim marriage. In fact Allah
tells us in the Quran that we will be tried (2:155,57). What a state of tranquility
does is to empower us to handle life's difficult moments with our spouses as
obedient servants of Allah. Allah in His infinite Mercy also provides us with
the tools by which we can achieve this state of peace and tranquility.
The basic difference is that love between man and woman in the Islamic context
can only be realized and expressed in a legal Muslim
Marriage. In order to develop a healthy avenue for the expression
of love between man and woman and to provide security so that such a loving
relationship can flourish, it is necessary to give it the protection of Shariah
(Islamic law).
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